He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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