NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
