it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
