Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Randomize
