i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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