it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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