do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
