worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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