why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
