If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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