She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
