nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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