If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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