I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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