I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
