no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
