Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Jerry, you need to find god
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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