I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
