I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
