last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
