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and you said cock pushups were impossible
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
