I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
