I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
