babies were throwing up all over the place
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
