so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
