i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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