how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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