OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
