dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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