Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
