Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
