They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My dick has a subreddit
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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