Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
