I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
