it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
