the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
