If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
