Someone shit on the floor
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
