we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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