And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
