i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
