i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
