i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
