just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
