dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
