70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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