we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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