All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I just want nice things and good sex
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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