We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
