is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
