tell your sister to shave her snatch
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
