god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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