Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
