i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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