Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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