My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
